Missteps

This season is an adventure. Everyday feels different and new. Everyday I screw up and stumble and return to the Lord in hopes of learning something from it. And it’s typical for me to find myself stumbling over the same thing the next day. Nothing about me is perfect, but everything about my Father is. With every step and every stumble of this adventure, He is with me. I know that. I feel that. I believe that.

Praying for strength in these hands to build everything back up again. I had spent 10 years building this beautiful community back home that I fell in love with. And building community now looks so different. Loving is different. Following You is different. And I’m giving myself permission to place a few stones in the wrong place. I’m giving my hands permission to fail; my feet permission to misstep. Giving my self permission to ask for help—to let hands that are stronger than mine place these stones. Praising You for the cornerstone that You have already set in place.

Thinking through what I’ve been learning about God lately. Been learning a lot about the Lord’s heart for adventure. About how He can look at my plans and laugh knowing that it’s nowhere close to what He has in store. Praying for that same tendency to laugh at my future. Learning how simple the Lord’s love is for me yet how complicated I seem to make it. Learning to ask really good questions and challenge really good ideas. Realizing for the millionth time that I way overthink things. Trying to not do that anymore.

It’s still astonishing to me how different my life is today compared to a year ago. But I’m settling in here. And I’m trying to take it all day by day—each day being different, each day being new. Praising the Lord for this time of transition. I don’t need to have it all together. I’m in this stage of adventure where I’m figuring things out. And while it can feel so unsteady, I know my Father is steadfast. My hands may shake, but the hands that hold me are strong. My feet may stumble, but the grace I fall into covers everything. I am held by grace; I don’t need to hold myself together. I am held by grace; I don’t need to hold myself together.

Fill my empty space
Be my one and only
I’m desperate and I’m weak
I long for the river that’s rushing