Transitioning

God looks at you and says, “I’ve seen you, and I know you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Do you believe that? That God sees you in the midst of your mess and still doesn’t want to leave?

Because over these past two months, there have been more moments than I care to admit when I have felt like a wreck. When I’ve done the exact things I didn’t want to do. When I’ve acted like I’m someone I’m not. When I’ve overthought things. When I’ve refused to let God lift my burdens. When I’ve insisted that I’ve got everything under control when I just simply don’t. When I’ve let anxiety rule my heart. There have been moments when I’ve felt like a complete mess. And it’s really hard for me to believe sometimes that anyone could love me in the midst of my mess. And it’s really easy for me to hide in my mess. And I’ve gotten really good at it, too.

But everything changes when I hear that whisper of, “I’ve seen you, and I know you, and I’m not going anywhere.” Because when I plan to retreat, I arrive at my hiding place only to see my Father with His arms open wide, and it’s all I can do to fall into them. He holds me in my mess, and he says, “I am greater than all of this. Greater than your mess. I see it all, and I’m not going anywhere.”

T r a n s i t i o n i n g.

There is grace right here, right now. And it covers every uncertainty, and every misstep, and every place that feels broken inside. This is new, and I am not expected to have it all figured out yet. I have to give myself more time and more room to breathe as I transition.  I’m learning the value of asking for help, and how that doesn’t show weakness, but strength. I’m learning all over again how to let God silence my every fear.

Everyday comes with its own challenges, and in this period of transition, every day feels new and different. Everyday feels as if I’m falling deeper into my Father’s loving arms. He is my hiding place; where I run to. In these transitions, he’s constant. No matter how well I believe I’ve hidden myself, my Father sees me and says, “I’ve seen you, and I know you, and I’m not going anywhere.”