Dear Younger Me

Dear younger me,

I think about you quite often. My memories of you are a bit scattered, but fond nonetheless. Many parts of who you are, are the parts of myself I’m trying to find again. Even today, I am looking to you and learning from you.  You have always been a light, younger me.

Dear younger me,

You will walk at recess just about every day. I can’t even remember half of, if any, of the reasons why you got in trouble all the time. In other words, it probably wasn’t a big deal. Looking back, I think it built character more than anything. But sacrifice recess for the joke cause you’ll probably get in trouble for talking during class anyway. One day you’ll learn how to choose your words carefully. In fact, one day you’ll be seeking out silence instead of chaos.

Dear younger me,

I know you don’t think you are very bright. I know school is hard for you. I know focusing is hard for you, too. But you’ve never been the type of person to shy away from a challenge. You will have to work harder than most. But this too will build character. Remember that you aren’t a number, and that school isn’t about success. It’s about learning. Remember, you love learning new things! Try not to stress too much (even though I know you will). Don’t stay up late doing homework (again, even though I know you will). Get some rest. You’ll need it; lots of it, actually. And each morning, remember that it’s a new day. The stress of yesterday doesn’t carry over unless you let it.

Dear younger me,

You are beautiful. Somedays, you will feel like you aren’t. Somedays you’ll cover up the mirrors in your bedroom cause you don’t want to look at yourself out of the fear that what they say about you may be true. Don’t believe those lies, sweet girl. You don’t need to change the way you look for any boy or any girl. I know the other girls wear make-up, but wearing make-up will not make you like them. Nothing will make you like them, cause you were never meant to be like them. You were meant to be Ellie, so be her through and through. You are beautiful without make-up; I promise you this. The King is captivated by your beauty. You don’t know what that means, but one day you will, and you will never look at yourself the same again.

Dear younger me

(*sigh*) Boys. Listen, it’s not like high school musical (yes, I know it sucks). You will think you’re in love many times. You will convince yourself you’ve found “the one” more than once. But please, I beg of you, don’t let the thought of a boy keep you up at night. Don’t wait for his name to appear on your phone. Don’t wait for him to call. Remember what your mom has always told you, “The right guy will think you hung the moon and the stars.” And don’t settle for anyone. You are a prize. Any guy would be incredibly lucky to be loved by you. But please be careful. You have a wide open heart. You’re passionate about everything you do. But you’ve got to guard your heart as well. Take a break from the searching. If he’s the right one, you won’t fail to recognize him.

Dear younger me,

You have high expectations for me, and I have high expectations for myself too. But don’t put too much pressure on me, okay? Cause listen, I know this sounds crazy, but who I become and where I end up isn’t exactly up to me. God will wreck our plans time and time again. And one day, you’ll be so grateful that he did.

Dear younger me,

One day, you’re gonna meet this guy named Jesus. And you’re not gonna be so sure about him in the beginning. You will even call into question his existence. But you will make the decision to follow him. And it will change everything. You will never be the same again. You will live a life that you never even knew existed. It will be the adventure of a lifetime. It won’t be easy, but the struggle will be worth it, I promise.

And dear future me,

Everyone always tells me they can’t wait to see where I end up and see what I do with my life. I smile and nod when people tell me this, cause little do they know I haven’t got the slightest clue where I’m headed. But I believe the Lord when he says that he has a plan for me. You were meant for something much greater than yourself.

And dear future me,

If he doesn’t make you this happy, he’s not the one. And if he isn’t half the man your dad is, he’s definitely not the one. I pray he reminds you of that goofy guy who always told you that your smile could change the world. Oh, and if your smile didn’t change his, then it’s time to let him go.

And dear future me,

Every step you take brings you closer to home, and closer to his loving embrace. When you are discouraged, picture yourself running home to him. One can only imagine the joy of that day. Picture yourself with his arms wrapped around you and your head buried in his chest: “My daughter, you’re finally home.”

And dear future me,

I, too, am excited to see where your Father leads you. I pray that you wear that smile the entire trek home. Keep your sense of wonder, beloved one, and keep your eyes fixed on the Father.